Rediscovering my voice

Rediscovering My Voice: A Journey of Reinvention

 

For years, I’ve carried a story too heavy to tell. It’s a story of loss, resilience, and a burning desire to reclaim the life I once had. Today, I’m finally taking steps to bring that story into the light—not just for myself, but for anyone who’s ever felt silenced, beaten down, or erased.

 

Some of you might know me from the days when I lived a public, creative life. As part of Cardboard Brains and through my solo work, I lived for music and self-expression. In 1982, I was honored with a CASBY Award for Most Promising Male Recording Artist. But by 2001, my life took a devastating turn. Judicial misconduct, malicious prosecutions, unlawful arrests, and imprisonment destroyed my career and left me homeless. The fallout wasn’t just financial; it was emotional, mental, and physical. For over a decade, I fought just to survive.

 

In 2012, I escaped the chaos of Toronto and found peace in Halifax. But even peace can feel like a kind of prison when you’re haunted by your past. My anonymity here has been a blessing and a curse. While I’ve avoided the harassment that plagued me before, I’ve also struggled with the longing to rediscover who I am—and share that with the world again.

 

Now, at 68, I’m taking steps to do just that. It hasn’t been easy. PTSD, depression, and anxiety often feel like insurmountable obstacles. I’ve had to rebuild from scratch—financially, emotionally, and professionally. But I’ve decided it’s time to stop living in fear. I’ve begun documenting my story, creating a timeline of events, and organizing the evidence I need to pursue justice. The process is daunting, but it’s also empowering.

 

Technology has been both a challenge and a lifeline in this journey. I recently invested in a refurbished dual-monitor PC, which feels like a step into the future after years of relying on outdated devices. Microsoft 365 and AI tools like ChatGPT have become essential as I organize my files and craft my story. Learning to use these tools hasn’t been easy, but they’ve given me the confidence to face the massive task ahead.

 

I’ve also reconnected with the creative side of myself—the person I was before the world fell apart. There’s so much I want to share: the music I made, the stories I lived, and the lessons I’ve learned. My music, including The Life of Ermie Scub, deserves to be heard by a wider audience, and I’m thinking about re-releasing it as part of my reinvention.

 

This blog is part of that rediscovery. It’s a space where I can share the pieces of my life—past and present—with anyone willing to listen. I’ll write about everything from the legal battles I’m preparing for, to the small victories that remind me life is still worth fighting for.

 

My hope is that by telling my story, I can help others who feel trapped in their own. Whether it’s through sharing the practical steps I’m taking to reclaim my life—like filing FOI requests—or simply offering encouragement, I want this blog to be a place where resilience is celebrated.

 

So here I am, opening a new chapter. It’s terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure. I don’t know exactly where this journey will take me, but I know I’m finally ready to take control of my life again. Thank you for joining me on this path. Together, maybe we can prove that it’s never too late to rediscover your voice—and make it heard.

 


This blog provides me with a forum to share my music, films, writing, photographs and musings. Currently in absence of any product or project to promote it’s a great platform to connect with fans and friends after a too long twenty year hiatus. Flow of consciousness postings, seemingly disconnected sometimes, eventually make sense when viewed as a whole.

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